Few women set out to become single mothers. However, it is a reality that a growing number of women face. It is not easy, and you will become convinced you are not getting it right or will not make it.
Many societies still tend to judge single mothers harshly, assuming the woman did something wrong to be left by a man to raise her children alone. This makes being a single mother even more difficult than it already is. Here are some tips for single mothers:
As a single mom, you might not be receiving any financial support from your children’s father. Even if you are, making ends meet can be a monthly challenge. Unexpected expenses crop up without notice and can place a strain on an already restricted budget.
Those mothers struggling to keep their heads above water are often susceptible to getting into debt to finance their day-to-day expenses. According to PersonalMoneyStore, this should not be the case if single moms manage their money wisely and find ways to save.
As a single mom, you have probably had days when it is easier to tell your kids yes than to explain why the answer is no. You are by no means alone. However, allowing discipline to slip because you are alone, tired, and overwhelmed is a recipe for disaster.
Children thrive on routine and boundaries as they create a sense of security that kids crave. If you keep moving the goalposts and changing what behavior is acceptable, it confuses your kids. They are then unsure of what is expected of them and tend to act out because they are frustrated.
Self-care is not necessarily a hot bath, a glass of wine, or a good book. Your definition of self-care may differ from other single moms. Every mom, single or not, deserves some time to herself. It can be hard to imagine doing this when working two jobs to keep your household afloat.
Create a support network of friends and family who will take the children for a few hours each week to give you a break. It might be tempting to fold the laundry or clean the kitchen, but this defies the point of having self-care time.
Spend time with your kids
You likely wish there were more hours in a day so that you could work, manage your home, and still find time to spend time with your kids. However, the latter is essential for well-grounded children who integrate into society. Each of your kids needs to know that they are valued, loved, and wanted.
Spending quality time with your children does not need to be an elaborate process. Sitting at the dinner table and discussing each other’s days or working as a team to clean up after a meal is quality time. The few seconds you spend hugging your child is quality time.
Do not make it their fault
Single moms are constantly under pressure and might lose their tempers and lash out at the people they love the most: their kids. However, you should be careful never to make your kids feel that your frustrations and struggles are their fault. Telling them that you wish you had never met their father or had a child with him makes the child think that you view them as a burden.
Trash talking to your children’s father is tempting since he has probably given you more than enough material to work with. However, he remains your children’s father. If you tell them their father is trash, they might start thinking they are too.